Now there is nothing wrong with black hair. It is striking, shiny, stylish and polished. Just take a look at Megan Fox, Katy Perry and Nicole Sherzinger. But for someone like me who has fairly tanned, olive skin, it turned me into a rock chick, ACDC lover, gothic horror show. Now I did try and act quickly, by washing out the hair colour as best I could and doing a last minute, rather desperate dash to Tesco to buy some Head and Shoulders shampoo (apparently it removes dye very well) to little avail. I went to university the next day extremely self conscious, as though I wanted to melt into the pavement away from the gazes of the world. On the train I felt as though all eyes were hovering on my hair, at my lecture, which just so happened to be on Punk, I slid down in my seat and looked no one in the eye while in the library I plonked myself down at the nearest computer and hoped that nobody recognised me.
My friends liked my new look, my colleagues at work liked it, my mum, who supportively assured me that it wasn't that bad, liked it too. Everyone it seems except for me. This nightmare went on for another couple of days before I brought some hair colour remover as a last resort and stripped all of the black out of my hair. Believe me, it was the best £6 I've spent in my life, and I can now hold my head up high with a mane of glossy, dark brown hair.
This experience has taught me a lot though. Mostly to do with how our hair can completely alter our self confidence. With good hair, you feel confident, powerful and happy, ready to take on anything. It does wonders for our self esteem and really does play with our heads. The moment a bad colour, or bad hair day gets in the way, suddenly we lose that glamour, that confidence and shrink away from our former self. I definitely felt that way, and I'm sure many other women, and men too, have felt the same way at some points in their lives, as our hair defines us. It's not a nice feeling and not one I would like to go through again.
How did Britney feel after she had shaved off all her hair in a moment of madness? Do you think she regretted it? Or what about when Jessie J shaved her head for charity, which was such a brave thing to do. How did she feel having nothing there to flick or tie up in a ponytail? We can flip this around and roll our eyes at what a shallow society we live in, where everybody judges everyone else and where looks unfortunately do matter, especially in the fashion industry. After all, who believes that beauty is in the inside not the outside? We are so conscious of how others perceive us that we build up this outer wall which not only messes with our head but shatters our self esteem too.
And what about if you lose your hair completely, to a disease like cancer for example. I can't even imagine how mortifying or scary it must feel like to look in the mirror and see someone you don't recognise staring back at you. Thousands of women are diagnosed with cancer everyday, and many of those do end up losing their hair through chemotherapy treatment, during a long battle with the disease. It must be soul destroying, especially if you considered your hair one of your best assets to lose a part of you which you so loved and cherished. Yet these women are even more strong, even more powerful and even more brave without their hair. They solider on, they deal with it and usually, their hair grows back even more beautiful than it was before. It makes my dyeing disaster feel so stupid and insignificant when I put it into context like this. I won't make the same mistake again, and will in future be so much more appreciate of the hair I have got and more grateful for what I have naturally been blessed with.
So I will sign off with lyrics from a woman who regularly experiments with her glossy mane, and who continually inspires those who lack confidence with her music.
"I just wanna be myself
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair"
And I want you to love me for who I am
I just wanna be myself
And I want you to know, I am my hair"
- Lady Gaga
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